Less Stressed Holidays

Posted on December 1, 2008 by admin

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
-Dr. Seuss

Oh, the obligations we endure around the holidays. It doesn’t matter what holiday you celebrate, there are always people who expect a visit, there are the delicious treats we feel pressed to cook or bake, and usually there are presents to buy which over-extend our budgets. The holidays have become over-commercialized and stress-filled. Is it possible to get through it unscathed?

As a tried-and-true grinch, I really appreciate the Dr. Seuss quote. However, the other day I had an epiphany. I realized that I used to love Christmas as a child and I have only become a grinch as an adult. So I decided to take back the holiday and make it what it was when I used to enjoy it. This takes courage and creativity. For instance:

I told my adult siblings that I will only be giving presents to the children and grandparents this year They grudgingly said “okay.”
I whittled my decorations down to a spotlight in the yard lighting up a wreath on the lamppost and a few poinsettias placed strategically around the house.

I decided since I love to bake with my kids that I will revel in baking with them. I will have the time to do this since I no longer have to shop for a gazillion presents for my many adult siblings.
Now that I have taken some stress off myself, I may actually enjoy Christmas this year instead of being a “grinch”. Hoping you find ways to de-stress and un-grinch!

by Claire Gawinowicz
Certified Parenting Educator

Posted in A - Z Parenting Tips, Holidays | Leave a comment

Appreciate the Moment

Posted on November 1, 2008 by admin

No longer forward nor behind
I look in hope or fear;
But, grateful, take the good I find,
The best of now and here.
-John Greenleaf Whittier

I sometimes find poetry hard to understand. But this piece from Whittier, which reminds us to appreciate the moment, had an effect on me as a parent. Some of the best days I had as a mom with my young children were when I let everything go – the cooking, the cleaning, the rushing around, and plopped down on the floor with the kids and played, talked, sang, told stories and just flat-out enjoyed them without teaching or discipline.

As Thanksgiving approaches, and we look for ways to be grateful, if possible, try to make time for the very people who most deserve it. You’ll never regret it.

By Claire Gawanowicz
Certified Parenting Educator

Posted in A - Z Parenting Tips, Parents | Leave a comment

The Holidays – Bah Humbug!

Posted on November 1, 2008 by admin

Click here to see Claire’s take of the holidays and how she plans to make them better

Posted in A - Z Parenting Tips, Holidays | Leave a comment

Halloween: A Time for Fun and Fears

Posted on October 1, 2008 by admin

Cowardly Lion: All right, I’ll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I’ll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I’m going in there. There’s only one thing I want you fellows to do.
Tin Woodsman, Scarecrow: What’s that?
Cowardly Lion: Talk me out of it.

As far as fearfulness goes, the Cowardly Lion was probably on the far end of the continuum. That didn’t make him any less “normal;” he just needed people in his life to support, understand and encourage him; just as our children do when they are fearful. Since they may not display their fears as outwardly as the Cowardly Lion did, and since all children are different and unique in what they fear, it’s important that parents learn to tune in to their children’s fears and behaviors and try to understand them. Here are some tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics:

  • Realize that it’s normal for fears to come and go as your child grows and develops.
  • Respect that the fear is real for your child. Don’t tease or make fun of your child.
  • Never force your child to confront the fear before he/she is ready. Allow your child to work through it at their own pace. When they do, be sure to give lots of praise.
  • Try to gently help your child get used to the fearful object or situation – for example, using a toy fire engine may help to reduce the fear of the real one.
  • Help your child feel physically secure by hugging him/her, holding his/her hand and being close. You can also teach your child to take slow, deep breaths to reduce their anxiety.
  • Try not to reinforce the fear by making too much of it. Overprotection can also cause children to be unnecessarily fearful.
    Limit your child’s exposure to media that may create or worsen fears. This includes TV, movies, video games, Internet and even printed materials like books or magazines.

Help your children understand that they too, just like the Cowardly Lion, can overcome their fears!

By Claire Gawanowicz
Certified Parenting Educator

Posted in A - Z Parenting Tips, Fears, Holidays | Leave a comment

The Start of a New School Year

Posted on September 1, 2008 by admin

The beginning of the school year can be a mixed bag of feelings: excitement, unease, nervousness, hopefulness, and more. 

These are all normal feelings and sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to listen with patience and without judging, and allow your children to express freely what they are feeling.  It helps if you stay calm and realize that some of your children’s initial feelings don’t last. 

Remember that some children who are temperamentally “slow to warm” may take a few months to adjust to his or her new teacher, new classmates, and new routines.  In the meantime, you can:

  • continue to listen
  • break down what some of their concerns are so they don’t generalize and catastrophize (Is the problem the teacher? the classmates? a friend situation? recess? schoolwork?)
  • engage in a problem exploration process, in which you help your child to come up with plans to deal with what is concerning them
  • help your child to see what is good about school, without discounting the significance to them of what is upsetting them

It is often best if you don’t solve every problem for your children; give them the time to try to work out solutions on their own, with your support and encouragement.  Sometimes, children learn more from learning to manage a difficult teacher or situation than if their parent comes to their rescue!

By Claire Gawinowicz
Certified Parenting Educator
Posted in A - Z Parenting Tips, School Issues | Leave a comment