Mother: “Come here and let me show you how to do that problem.”
Child: “Can’t you just tell me the steps involved?”
Mother: (Sounding frustrated) “It’s math. You need to see what I am doing.”
Child: (Covering his eyes) “Please just tell me. I don’t want to look.”
Working with your children can be a rewarding or frustrating proposition. As a parent, you will usually try to help them in ways that make sense to you. If they do not seem to understand, you often intensify your efforts. For example, if you are trying to teach your son to add a list of numbers, you may write them down in a column and start to add. If he does not seem to follow, you may repeat this activity several more times. If he still seems stuck, you may decide that he is lazy or unmotivated. The real culprit, however, may be a difference in learning styles.
The Three Main Learning Styles
When faced with learning and retaining new information, children (and adults) use one of three main techniques – kinesthetic, auditory or visual modalities.
Those who are kinesthetic learners learn best by doing.. Moving their body can help them to integrate the material. While to the casual observer such children may appear squirmy, the movement actually helps them to focus their minds. Actions such as pacing, bouncing a ball, tapping of fingers, or other motions alert the brain to incoming information. Most young children and approximately 5% of adults prefer this modality.
Those who are auditory learners learn best by hearing the ideas. They may need to repeat back instructions to be sure they have heard the request. In addition, those who utilize this modality will often read directions aloud to themselves so that they can “listen” to what is required. Comprising about 30% of the population, auditory learners literally need to “hear themselves think.”
Finally, those who are visual learners do best by reading or seeing what is required. When trying to remember information, visual learners will review mental images in their minds and often need to write things down in order to commit the ideas to memory. Comprising approximately 65% of the population, visual learners picture the answers in their minds.
How Do You Know which Method your Children Prefer?
The first and most important step is to observe your children. Look at how they approach their play. For example, what steps would they take when assembling a new toy? Do they look at the picture, pick up the pieces, and then discover through manipulating the parts how they function? – a keystone of kinesthetic learners. Do they read the instructions aloud or ask you to tell them how to do it? – a sign that they are auditory learners. Alternatively, do they examine the directions, paying close attention to the diagrams? – a clue that they are visual learners.
Another way to tell is to listen for the words that your children use. When acknowledging that they comprehend what you mean, decide which phrase they use most frequently:
- “I get it.” (kinesthetic)
- “I hear what you are saying.” (auditory)
- “I see what you mean.” (visual)
Finally, as you discover which learning modality best fits each of your children, remember that most people tend to use all three styles to some degree. Although they may use one technique more often than the others, if you are having difficulty teaching your children in their “usual” mode, you can choose another method.
How Can You Apply this Information?
Let us return to the opening example of attempting to teach your son to add a column of numbers by showing him a list. In this scenario, you would be relying upon your visual strength. While this effort may have worked for you, it is not working for your child. The resulting tensions could be a clue for you to switch techniques. Perhaps you could attempt an auditory approach by saying the numbers and verbally teaching the child how to add using a sing-songy voice. Alternatively, you may experiment with a kinesthetic approach by getting out a pile of blocks and letting your son move the pieces as he counts them. The point is that when what you are doing is not working, instead of doing more of it, you should switch tracks and appeal to another modality.
What Does this Mean to Parents?
As you sit down to teach your children, all of this information can feel daunting. Approaching a task in a manner that is contrary to your natural tendency requires a conscious effort. However, it also means that you have many options and that if one approach is not working with your child, you can try a different tactic. With practice, you will be able to “get it right” more quickly and be able to communicate information to your children more effectively. And wouldn’t that make things easier for all of you?
By Deb Cohen, Certified Parenting Educator
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