The Center for Parenting Education

“It’s not summer if your tongue isn’t purple.”
- Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes

The summer is winding down, you and the kids have eaten more than your share of purple popsicles, everyone is bored, and you may feel like your children’s brains are turning to mush. But there are still a few weeks to go before – dare I say the “s” word – school begins. So with several dog days of August left to fill, perhaps the suggestions below will help keep the kids occupied. Some might even fire up a few brain synapses:

• Projects: help the kids rearrange their bedroom furniture (which can end up being a cleaning project also so that’s a win-win); gather up old photos and organize them into an album; research/plan ways to help the planet (believe it or not my kids really enjoyed our “cleaning up the neighborhood” events – we would take plastic bags leftover from shopping and walk around the neighborhood picking up trash – amazing what kids might do when you frame it as “fun”); put your bathing suits on and wash the car.
• Freebies: If you find your funds running low, go to your local library to rent dvds for free or look for farmers’ markets where you can taste test. Also, the Philadelphia Art Museum is free on Sundays – go to phillyvisitor.com or patch.com for more suggestions.
• Miscellaneous: go hiking (exercise is good for the brain) and gather wildflowers to take home, identify and display; read aloud to each other (with free library books, of course); bake, emphasizing the math involved in measuring, and then give some of the goodies to someone who might enjoy them – frame it to the kids as a random act of kindness.

and, then there’s always

•  Nothing.

What do I mean by nothing? Some of the best days I had with my children were when we just lazed around the house, talking, maybe listening to music and dancing, or just relaxing. Pencil in a Tranquil Tuesday or a Slow Sunday so that the kids know it’s a day to “re-boot” and for parents to take time off from worrying that the children’s minds may be turning into summer mush.

by Claire Gawonowicz, Certified Parenting Educator

Summer afternoon – summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.

~Henry James

Yes, Henry James did have children. So why did he think summer afternoons were so beautiful? My recollection of summer afternoons is my children whining:  I’m bored; No, I don’t want to go out and play, I want to watch TV; I’m hungry. I often felt pressured to entertain my kids and to stop the whining by being the camp counselor in my own home. If you are you dreading those beautiful summer afternoons, consider the following:

1. Richard Carlson, Ph.D., in his book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff says when kids whine, I’m bored, try responding with, “Great, be bored for a while.  It’s good for you.”  Carlson says that sometimes kids’  minds, just like their bodies, need an occasional break from stimulation. When you allow your mind to take a break, it comes back stronger, sharper, more focused and creative.
2. Re-frame “just doing nothing” as something positive and good for your children as opposed to being merely a waste of time. David Elkind in his book, The Hurried Child, laments that children nowadays are not allowed their childhoods; they are pressured and rushed to perfect skills, achieve, and “ strive for some goal which will further their development.”  Like Carlson, he feels that children need many opportunities and much time for free, unstructured play in order to grow and develop in a healthy and balanced way.
3. Barbara Coloroso, in her book Kids Are Worth It, states that “we as adults are often uncomfortable with being alone, quiet and reflective.”  If we see our child sitting quietly, we may encourage her to play or to find someone to do something with. In our society, quiet and solitary contemplation is not encouraged or valued.  And yet, for children to grow in inner discipline and to get to know and like themselves, they need time to be alone and be still.

With this new perspective in mind, it may be possible for parents to take a more relaxed view of summer vacation, and to feel comfortable in just letting their children be.  We do not always have to find entertainment for our children and, in fact, we will actually help them by encouraging them to be alone, quiet and still for periods of time.  Appreciating boredom may make this the best summer ever!

By Claire Gawinowicz
Certified Parenting Educator